Lol

Do you know why bra makers measure cup size by "A B C D E F"? 
A - almost gone 
B - barely noticeable 
C - comfortable 
D - d**n good 
E - extremely big and 
F - Fake 

-------------------------------------------

Erap: Tamad! Di ba sabi ko sayo diligan mo
ang mga halaman!
Hardinero: Sir, umuulan naman po kasi eh!
Erap: Magpapalusot ka pa! t*nga!.....
Eh di magkapote ka!

---------------------------------------------

GMA: I'm planning to stop poverty and "mass starvation."
Erap: Alam mo Gloria..yung poverty madaling pigilin...
pero ang "MAsturbation"...Abaeh magisip-isip ka muna...
human rights violation yan!

---------------------------------------------

Erap: Lintik na shampoo to ayaw bumula
Maid: Sir eh hindi pa po basa buhok niyo
Erap : eh for Dry Hair nga eh.

-----------------------------------------------

What is the most impressive example of Tolerance? 
Ah! Golden Wedding Anniversary! 

------------------------------------------------

Applicants 
Two girls nag-aaply ng work…1 matalino, 1 bobo 
Matalino: Buti ka pa natanggap. Ano ba ginawa mo? 
Bobo: Wala. Nung nag-fill up me ng form, nilagay ko sa -Sex,.... sure.

----------------------------------------------------

Love and Marriage Cycle 
1-2 yrs: magkasalo sa plato 
3-5 yrs: tig-isang plato 
5-7 yrs: nagbabatuhan na ng plato 
8-10 yrs: wala na silang plato 
That is what we call PLATOnic love! 

---------------------------------------------------

Man: I want to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in six months. 
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are very hard to find! 

------------------------------------------------------

Learning French 
City - ce vou 
Drug - sha vou 
Good bye - va vou 
Bald - cal vou 
Caught in the act - navo cou 
Feathers - valahi vou 
Not clear - mala vou 
Cute - a cou 

----------------------------------------------------

Katapusan 
Lumindol ng malakas noon.... Nagkagulo and lahat at nag-panic. 
Sumigaw ang! isang lalake.. "Katapusan na! Katapusan na!" 
Sumagot ang isa pang lalake.. "t*nga, a kinse pa lang